I have been cruising the net checking out blogs and being busy at home reading the bible listening to Christian radio…….I really haven’t felt like writing because I haven’t much to say. Watching the inaugurations reading bible prophecy and jerusalem watchman and last night on TV it seems the US advisors have decided to reassess the open relationship that US has with Israel being encouraged by Turkey and Saudi Arabia to condemn Israeli occupation of Gaza. There have been numerous pictures of dead children……much is written of hamas using women and children as shields…the suffering has been brought on by men who have a hatred of God and his chosen people….the blogs written by Muslim, Arabs remind me of Judges in the old testament. The cadence of Judges is so different from the beautifully written new testament and even Genesis Exodus etc…..looking thru the eyes of God his ways his justice………but judges is looking thru the eyes of man and his justice, how living in the world when we follow our own way, not being fully obedient to God and the consequences then and now today with Gaza, like a rippled effect in a pond what happened then [ Judges] still effects today in Gaza……. so disturbing……….. but my life before Jesus found me….just like that in Judges …ugly……..I feel absolute sorrow for the people would let of God than call on God let go of God……I think that it is characteristic of our walk with God……sheep turn away easily when they don‘t see there shepherd. I cannot go one day without hearing thinking about Jesus. I get up praying and read the bible but I need more…..I need hearing other Christians thoughts and views about Jesus. The days Eddie is at home it puts a crimp in my day because I am focused on what he wants….right now Pastor Scott Richards is on the Radio [Calvary Christian] church] and he is speaking about the tabernacle in Exodus and how the veil was rent when Jesus died on the cross and the scarlet worm used for the dye how it dies protecting its young….how the tabernacle is built links to how the church is built today right down to the rings and thread and colors are all point to Jesus dieing on the cross. I met a woman in church a couple of weeks ago , she said she is a nurse and spoke to a few members about me and would like to come over. I was more than happy to have her come over. She wanted to help me clean, but I told her just come over to talk….and she did…..I thought she had been at church for awhile but she had been 3 weeks, she wanted to tell me she had been healed almost by changing her eating habits. Vegan and exercising and reading a book called “God‘s creative power‘ for healing Charles Capps …she had given me 3 pages of words of encouragement that helped her. My Dad had also told me what you say shows your unbelief …in the book Charles Capp says “ mixing faith with god’s words by speaking it out of your mouth is a means of applying god’s medicine. The rest is up to the individual as to whether they have the confidence to take god’s medicine on a regular basis’…..”BELIEVE AND TAKE A STEP OF FAITH” I HAVE TRIED BUT I DIDN’T WALK DIFFERENTLY…..MY SISTER LISA AND I WERE LAUGHING ON THE PHONE YESTERDAY…HER CHURCH FRIEND SHE PICKED UP SAYS “ ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TAKE VITAMIN C” IF IT WERE THAT EASY, IF THERE WAS A DRUG TO TAKE……BUT SO FAR THERE IS NO CURE….WHEN I FOCUS ON MYSELF THEN I TAKE MY EYES OFF God and Jesus….I read Joni Eareckson Tada Book and I found that her focus is on God not on healing…….I suppose every path every journey to seek God is as different as each individual …..that is how God touches us personally…..besides I am terrible at memorizing verses….I do better reading and hearing the word of God , that comforts me =]……. I am perfectly made the way I am…….not in human eyes with my disease ……but in God’s eyes…and that is what comforts me!….goodness I write a lot!! Well Jaylee has been sick for 3 days now so time to wrap my thoughts up and take care of her….I am glad to meet people on my journey with Jesus, it gives me time to reflect on my walk and question if I am following God fully.,….I am not…..but my progress { as long as I am moving} is a good thing!