Saturday, May 26, 2007

auto pilot Current mood: tired Its been a rough couple of weeks, just struggling thru my life. Some falls and flu wow oh wow has brought me to the end of my rope several times. I had a dental appt 2 weeks ago? ....teeth pain .....just constant pain from the falls its just miserable....I go thru extreme pain w/ joints and muscle ,bandaged 8-12 motrin a day usually lasting 3-4 days and then another fall , same thing again for 4-5 days and the flu!!  Jaylee has been sick too so sleepless nights and getting up with her to make her feel better..........my body tells me I can`t do this............I can`t do this.........I`m on auto pilot cleaning cooking, driving, kids, The song http://www.myspace.com/castingcrowns  'Praise you in this storm' kept going round and round in my mine! Is this the best of my life now? I have hope whatever comes he will help me overcome. Jaylee has swimming lessons every day starting tuesday, when they say wheelchair accessible..it isn`t.......some ablebodied person sat in a wheelchair and declared it disabled and then got up and walked it! They assume you have coordination and strenth ad balance in a wheelchair! Every few secondsof my life it seems I am always asking God help me, help, help me.I`m glad he doesn`t tell me to shutup!......I hope my knee is ok so I can at least pull the wheelchair out of the car.....on the plus side I can stand to lose a few pounds! Thank you God, Thankyou Jesus for listening.....I call, You hear me I've lost it all And it's more than I can bear I feel so empty You're strong, I'm weary I'm holding on But I feel like giving in But still You're with me [chorus] And even though I'm walking Through the valley of the shadow I will hold tight to the hand of Him Whose love will comfort me And when all hope is gone And I've been wounded in the battle He is all the strength that I will ever need He will carry me I know I'm broken But You alone Can mend this heart of mine You're always with me [chorus] And even though I'm walking Through the valley of the shadow I will hold tight to the hand of Him Whose love will comfort me And when all hope is gone And I've been wounded in the battle He is all the strength that I will ever need He will carry me He will carry me And even though I feel so lonely Like I have never been before You never said it would be easy But You said You'd see me through the storm [chorus] And even though I'm walking Through the valley of the shadow I will hold tight to the hand of Him Whose love will comfort me And when all hope is gone And I've been wounded in the battle He is all the strength that I will ever need He will carry me He will carry me He will carry me     ......... Thanks Amanda.!!!!!!! Currently listening : Lifesong By Casting Crowns Release date: By 30 August, 2005

dentist day
Current mood: determined

I have a difficult time going to the dentist........it not only hurts physically but also financially. I am so scared of losing my teeth even more..........so I go to avoid catastrophes. I listen every day to the radio http://www.am830flr.org/default.asp to keep me focused on God and what he wants, although I lose sight when I have falls or in alot of pain. I keep coming acrossed about info of trials and tribulations and sometimess I lose sight of God but when I look ahead thinking I will do it myself .......I am so lost and hopeless and alone. Many words I come across about enduring are encouraging.........I  keep asking and he keeps answering.......soon.........soon..

waiting
Current mood: confused

I am waiting to participate in life.......waiting.........waiting............wating I`m not sure how when or why. I feel unimportant and just in limbo...........purpose is what I`m looking for. I feel like I need to get moving or it will be too late, but what is my purpose. Taking care of kids.....is this what I`m suppose to do? Many women work full time, take care of kids, volunteer, my disability leaves me out alot but I have ways to accomodate this disability if only for alittle while. The window closes as it progresses...........so what is my purpose??????? God`s Child.........isn`t there more....I am listening to who am I, it just came on by itself.........Lord you told me who I am, I am yours I am yours.......it is enough!

This has been a long journey to find God....I looked hi and low ......in books on the internet.........televangelists............fairytales...........religions that had a magical way like reincarnations.............mediums...........native american beliefs..............as long as you believe it doesn`t matter what path you take............being a good person.....doing good things......changing my outlook..........going to church..;......I just could not find him...........then I listened and read the bible, listened to christian music.........let go of what I thought or how it should be.................the movie 'wizard of oz' is my favorite movie from childhood. I remember my mom everyyear on thanksgiving it would come on tv would make rootbeer floats and popcorn and we  would all sit down and watch [6 kids] and mom, dorothys trials and tribulations just trying to get home and at the end Glenda the good witch put her arms around her and said you had the power all the time with you, just click your heels together and say 'I want to  go home...I want to go home..........There was Jesus he was  with me all the time, I just had to ask him to come into my life.........yes yes, I believe in you! and so here I am.............'Gods child' I am numbered among the living....I am not alone Thankyou Jesus...  Thankyou God for believing in me

May 2, 2007

THE BLAME GAME
by Charles R. Swindoll

 1 John 1

Remember comedian Flip Wilson’s old line, “The devil made me do it”? Here was this character who had obviously done something bad. But instead of taking the blame, he pointed an accusing finger at “the devil.” Why did we laugh? We weren’t just laughing at his hilarious routines; we were laughing at ourselves—at one of our favorite indoor games: The Blame Game. And since he is altogether wicked and invisible and unable to challenge our accusation in audible tones, there’s no better scapegoat than old Lucifer himself.

But when this practice becomes a daily habit, it stops being funny and starts being phony. It’s when we become escape artists, dodging the responsibility of our own disobedience, that we carry the thing too far. Not just blaming Satan for every evil action, but finding him in every nook and cranny . . . thinking he is the subtle force behind all wicked events and encounters. It’s the age-old conspiracy mentality.

There are those, for example, who see and hear the devil in certain types of music. They tell us to play the tapes backwards and we can hear the subliminal satanic message . . . which seems a lot like reading a book in a mirror to detect its evil connotation. Strange. They warn us against Proctor and Gamble because the beard of a face in the tiny logo includes 666. Don’t laugh. So many believed this that the company was forced to spend a fortune trying to combat fears of a satanic connection.

You and I know there is a devil and a host of demons. There is an authentic “prince of the power of the air,” whose sole goal is to infect and influence with evil. He is on the prowl (1 Pet. 5:8), diabolical in nature and deceptive in method (2 Cor. 11:3). He is responsible for much wickedness, but not all of it—there’s also the world and the flesh, remember (1 John 2:15-16). If he cannot get us entrapped in one extreme, where he’s an imaginary prankster with horns, pitchfork, and red long johns . . . then it’s the other, where he’s everywhere, in everything, embodying everyone, and we start listening to music backwards and sniffing out signs of 666 in labels, license plates, and leaders.

C’mon, Christian, let’s wise up. We look foolish enough in the eyes of the lost without giving them fuel for the fire. Leave the funny stuff for the comedians and the phony stuff for fanatics. We’ve got our hands full maintaining a sensible balance on the tightrope of truth. For if there’s one thing “the devil” can’t stand, it’s the truth.

Some people spend so much time looking for what isn’t there that they fail to see what is.

 National Day of Prayer
Pausing to honor our nation and to call upon our God, Chuck Swindoll presents a special two-day message as the 2007 honorary chairman for the National Day of Prayer            http://www.insight.org/site/PageServer?pagename=new_home thank you Jesus for making sense, and helping find my way!