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August 21  I had an angry day Sunday.............I don`t know why..........yes I do.........sometimes I feel I am in this all alone struggling strugging never any rest from it[disease] to keep going....the kids fighting crying yelling.....Eddie unhappy stressed overworked........I was yelling at Jaylee her room a...huge...mess...it takes alot of energy and coordination to pick toys up without falling especially polly pocket! I despise that toy! So teeny tiny eerrrhhhhhhh anyways gave up so I had to finish cleaning bathrooms and kitchen make breakfast clean up again and get everyone out the door.....forgot Jaylees homework and JARON...........constant teasing...making noises.......talking back.........when Eddie works 6 days in a row.......a BEAR........it seems so chaotic getting to church and has been that way for more than a year that we have been going. I thought things get better if you keep pushing and doing what God wants you to do....wrong........or at least that was my thinking Sunday. In church there was an older gentleman in a wheelchair who was probably 70-75 and obviously sick. His caretaker was young 25-30 and he started coughing and couldn`t stop and he finally did, but as church continued he started falling asleep, I felt so bad for him and prayed God would make him feel better.....I looked at Eddie and hes falling asleep to......the connection........in a wheelchair you have go where ever the drivee takes ya......Eddie has to go to church to take me............he may not want to be there.......Jaron certainly doesn`t want to be there either.......in life you have a choice ,to follow Jesus, walk with him, be like him.........Eddie hasn`t made that choice yet. I don`t want to force him ...........but he reassured me that he enjoys church...........I had visions of me going it alone............not so.........Jaylee reminded me "God is always with you" it is enough  Thank*you Jesus****I love you****  August 18
| http://www.gfa.org/ K.P. Yohannan
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Its been awhile since I have blogged, Jaron started back to school and .....a miracle.........I am having a difficult time driving. My foot on one of the pedals I don`t know which or slipping off the pedal...makes me hyperventilate when I have to stop slow down or go. I keep slamming my foot on the floor to remember where my foot is so I can use the appropiate pedal. Unfortunatley I do not do it softly so we are lurching alot....lolololo........I know not funny and it embarrasses Jaron, course Jaylee loves it....lolololo........I pray alot to get home safely and in one piece, anyways 2 years I have been driving Jaron to school and his new school the bus picks him up............right in front of the house........and drops him off...........miracle!!!....a regular school bus........turns around in the cul de sac about 4 times of stopping turning ,stop turn, stopping turning. THANK*YOU JESUS http://www.gfa.org/ I have gotten a book from KP Yohannen and it seems a wonderful way to help a missionary. I have looked on the net of wanting to help in someway for God`s purpose and found this extraordinary ministry, they use there own people to bring people to Christ. They do it for much less than what a church in the US will do plus language and culture the hardships of living can be done by there missionarys. I am reminded of *****1 Corinthians-26-30**26Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast before him. *************** who better to minister then they who understand there own. I understand the importance of missionarys and making sure the gospel is followed but KP Yohannan I feel has a handle on what Christians of the US should be doing to help the body of Christ. I am searching on the internet about God and Jesus and history and different parts of the world history and current day issues ...all so fascinating.......much of my understanding of God though comes from my bible and prayers and church.....anyways so many fascinating interesting subjects from the bible and I google which sends me on another trip to find out everything about it like ....manna.....tabernacle.........Eden.........12 tribes........Israel..........Paul..........Jesus.....God.......it goes on and on. I log 3-4 hours a day just looking up bible words......revelations...........fascinating..........my legs don`t work but my fingers do!!!!!! | August 09
| churches of revelations
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I had wanted to read more about the 7 churches of revelation which I think is based on the churches today. The characters of churches now a days http://www.bibleexplained.com/revelation/r-seg01-3/rev03c-table.html it is graphs of the churchs and makes it easier to understand. I ponder the words carefully concerning my church. another blog thats interesting to read http://www.sliceoflaodicea.com/ Went to the grocery store again yesterday, it`s so wonderful getting out of the house. I get to see and do FUN things instead of cooking cleaning yelling and struggling! Course struggling to make my legs move is tiring but I have something new to look at! | August 08
| Charles Swindoll and a Church!
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I have been visting different blogs and many are upset at the way churches conduct themselves. Watered down Bibles scripture, buzz names, feel good sermons, hi tech, and some churches are wrong will do wrong....but these christian blogs feel there are too many starting up that "cater" to people or MEGA Monolithic churches that have more than 3000 members. I can see some of what they say can happen..... will happen.....but my church is considered too hi tech, too catchy......the pastor too flashy to.to..to...I have learned to tune out read my bible pray to God go to church..........God will let me know what is acceptable to him, so I am listening God.. I am one the church "caters" to....I don`t dress up...I enjoy laughter in sermons.....I enjoy the band and the songs the pastor writes.........I enjoy enjoy enjoy going to hear about Jesus and God...I enjoy understanding him...........I enjoy finding out if I`m following the right way and ways to do better. Although I don`t really enjoy the spiritual spanking.....but it does make me stronger August 8, 2007
OUTGOING LOVE
by Charles R. Swindoll
Romans 14
His face was covered with a full beard. His hair fell almost to his shoulders. When he smiled, his white teeth flashed in contrast to the blanket of brown that concealed his skin. His eyes were blue, clear, and alert. His laughter was strong and familiar to my ears. It reminded me of the times we sat together as friends in seminary, wrestling with reason and trying to unscrew the inscrutable.
He's now working at a restaurant, playing bluegrass in a four-piece combo. He also has an exciting ministry in a small church where he works with couples. As we had in the old days, we kicked around all sorts of subjects: his marriage, John Denver, the "Body concept" of the local church, banjos and fiddles . . . and the spiritual hunger on university campuses today. That's what we talked about, but we communicated more, much more.
Despite the separation of the years and the difference in our current lifestyles, we were inseparably linked as one in the bond of love. It seems so stupid to me that fellowship must be limited to the narrow ranks prescribed by a grim-and-narrow mind-set. Just because I prefer a certain style or attire doesn't mean that it's best . . . nor that it's for everyone . . . nor that the opposite taste is any less pleasing to God.
This gross intolerance of those who don't fit our mold reveals itself in a stoic stare or a caustic comment. Such legalistic and prejudiced reactions will thin the ranks of the local church faster than fire in the basement or flu in the pew.
If you question that, take a serious look at Paul's letter to the Galatians. His pen flowed with heated ink as he rebuked them for "deserting" Christ (1:6), "nullifying the grace of God" (2:21), becoming "bewitched" by legalism (3:1), and desiring "to be enslaved" by this crippling disease (4:9).
Sure there are limits to our freedom. Grace doesn't condone license. Love has its biblical restrictions. The opposite of legalism is not "do as you please." But listen! The limitations of liberty are far broader than most of us realize.
So, the next time you're in Dallas you might want to look up my friend Larry. He plays great mandolin in a top-notch bluegrass combo. He still loves Christ, but he never forces it on you. If you can get beyond his hairy face, you'll find a humble heart.
The bonds of love that bind us are greater than the boundaries that separate us.
| | August 04
| fittings, birthday.........
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 Not much to say today, Jaylee had a dress fitting to be in her cousins wedding......so cute.......so grownup.............on to a birthday party [new Zoe] she tried to skate and kept trying........People who I haven`t seen in a year or more have made great strides in there personal lives and have moved up. Sometimes its daunting I can see myself just watching people go by ......an observer, looking at my kids I wonder how much I have short-changed them I go backwards instead of forwards.........physically, financially, mentally. I know ....back to the Bible and ...praying my only hope for a change. and there in is my problem......... patience.........obedience.  Oh well time for bed ....byebye | August 03
| Romans 8
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| Nothing much going on here........just waiting reading and watching...........cooking cleaning laundry.........I`m waiting for something, what is it? Reading Romans 8- 26 26In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for (BB)we do not know how to pray as we should, but (BC)the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;
27and (BD)He who searches the hearts knows what (BE)the mind of the Spirit is, because He (BF)intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
28And we know that [c]God causes (BG)all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are (BH)called according to His purpose.
29For those whom He (BI)foreknew, He also (BJ)predestined to become (BK)conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the (BL)firstborn among many brethren;
30and these whom He (BM)predestined, He also (BN)called; and these whom He called, He also (BO)justified; and these whom He justified, He also (BP)glorified.
31(BQ)What then shall we say to these things? (BR)If God is for us, who is against us?
32He who (BS)did not spare His own Son, but (BT)delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?
33Who will bring a charge against (BU)God's elect? (BV)God is the one who justifies;
34who is the one who (BW)condemns? Christ Jesus is He who (BX)died, yes, rather who was [d](BY)raised, who is (BZ)at the right hand of God, who also (CA)intercedes for us.
35Who will separate us from (CB)the love of [e]Christ? Will (CC)tribulation, or distress, or (CD)persecution, or (CE)famine, or (CF)nakedness, or (CG)peril, or sword?
36Just as it is written,
"(CH)FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG;
WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED."
37But in all these things we overwhelmingly (CI)conquer through (CJ)Him who loved us.
38For I am convinced that neither (CK)death, nor life, nor (CL)angels, nor principalities, nor (CM)things present, nor things to come, nor powers,
39nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from (CN)the love of God, which is (CO)in Christ Jesus our Lord |
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Eddie said I have "changed" since going to church, thats a good thing because it means Jesus is still working on me.........course Eddie meant he didn`t like it he said I was "pushy"! I listen to christian music all day and read the bible so a change is going to be evident. I see things differently and he does not like that, what to do....what to do....I`ll leave it in God`s hands he is certainly more capable than I ! News from Jason....Elijah in school.....Aden so cute so grown up............I`ve missed alot.............I am all outtta words to say, maybe tomorrow I`ll have thunk of something
